Suicide and the Elderly: Illness, Age and Lack of Hope
Posted: Tuesday, October 20, 2009
by Steve Kovacs
The Kovacs Perspective
Older people are disproportionately likely to die by suicide. The highest percentages of those in the elderly category that commit suicide are those over 85 years old. I know a man who is nearing 90 years old and who lives a vibrant and active life. He runs a business, stays physically fit and lives life to the fullest. He has had some health issues throughout the years but has handled and controlled them well.
This case is not an isolated one. Similar cases occur daily. Is suicide a viable option in this case? In my view, suicide is not an option for problem solving. The man who feels life has nothing good for him anymore is mistaken. Life as he knew it may change drastically; however, that change can be positive and even exciting.
As an example, I know another elderly man who is in his mid eighties, is hard of hearing, and is legally blind from (AMD). He also was active all his life and had a zest and passion for life that was contagious. When AMD started taking his vision, he became frustrated and depressed but not for long. He did everything he could to make the best with his lot in life. His wife helped him with tasks he had trouble doing himself. She got him interested in books on tape or compact disc. He reads, or in his case listens to books he never would have experienced if he had his vision. He enthusiastically tells me about some of the adventures he experiences through listening to the books. Sure, he is frustrated that he cannot do many of the things he used to do like driving, but he still has a zest for life. He believes God has a timetable for him and he is going to make the best of it.
The similarities between these two are that they both were active, had a zest for life and both have devastating effects from macular degeneration. What is the difference between the two? Why do they have such different views about their present lives? The major difference is that the latter is married and the former is a widower. That support makes a big difference. Other factors, such as general personality traits and upbringing more than likely play a factor in their different attitudes as well.
What should be done with the man who is considering killing himself? Some will say he has lived enough of a life; after all, he has lived well beyond the average life span for men. Some say leave him alone and let him do whatever he wants.
I say where there is life there is hope. Life can bring about surprisingly positive experiences into peoples lives during the darkest of times. My view is to help this man or others like him who may be considering suicide. I say do our best to help them see the positives that may yet exist no matter how old they may be. Helping them to live abundantly is part of being a human being and being part of the extended family called the human race.
*Here are some tips on how to help with elderly citizens who may be suicidal. http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/FY101
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More commentsThe fact that one man had the support of his wife and the other didn't is a huge factor in how well they face daily challenges. Everyone needs to know there is someone who cares about them. They also need someone to care for. He's lucky to have you for a friend Steve to remind him he matters to someone, and is not alone.Hi BriannaThanks for your wise words about the support of the wife being so important. And thanks for reminding me about being a friend to the desperate man and how that can make a big difference.Steve
Steve, your article dispells a popular myth about suicide. I had always thought that younger folks (especially teens) were more likely to commit suicide. And I'm sure there were plenty of others who thought the same thing. Keep up the good work!Hi Terry,A surprising statistic for me too. I appreciate that you took the time to read and comment on my article and thanks for your positive and encouraging words as well--thanks!Steve
Hi Steve, 4 1/2 years before I retired, I worked with a friend's business in the low vision field. I traveled four states as a regional vision resource consultant. I worked with everyone from young children to people in their 90's. A high percentage of the people (actually I only found 2 people who couldn't be helped by the technology that I showed them). AMD is one of the most difficlult lifestyle changes people have to learn to adjust to, but, with family support, the right technology, and a good attitude, I have seen thousands of people return to things that had stopped doing years before, simply by using a portable and/or desktop CCTV (Closed Circuit Television), which can manipulate not only the size of the print, but adjust contrast and background colors. There are devices that can be used for people who paint ceramics, do architectural layouts, and many other tasks usually reserved for a fully sighted person. The largest stumbling block to helping someone with Age Related Macular Degeneration is if they are too angry to accept the help. The macula is a 3mm spot in the center of the retina, which accounts for only 5% of the vision. the rest of the retina is still functional, and with magnification and contrast, a person can use their peipheral vision to accomplish many things. With the newer cold laser surgical procedures and a medication called Regeneron, some people (I have a golf partner who is 77, who has actually seen significant improvement in his vision using this process) are seeing their AMD stop, and being reversed to some degree. The blood vessels that nourish the macula can either hemorrage or dry up, so there are too distinct problems, even though they are in the same part of the eye.I would encourage anyone who either has AMD, or has someone in the family suffering from it, to visit a low vision consultant, and try every conceivable device on the market, until they find the one that works best. Don't give up simply because one type of magnifier or background color doesn't work. I once spent 2 1/2 hours with a lady, only to find out she simply needed more light and less magnification. As a chaplain, I see more elderly people who want to commit suicide from physical pain, such as artificial hips and other joints that don't work right, and they can't find relief from the pain. Anger seems to be the part of grief that actually gets people to get up do something, rather than lay down and die. Thanks for the article. Blessings, DocHi Doc,I never heard about using a CCTV device to help with seeing/reading. How can he or his family find these products? Check on the Internet I suppose. I'm surprised the doctors office does not refer him to people who offfer these and other devices. As far as I know they have not offered him any referrals. He is in an experimental study testing out a new medication so that tells me that medically there's not much they can do for him----but he needs to review all the devices available to help him--we'll look into it.Doc you're a fountain of knowledge....thanks for the info.Steve
Hi Steve,Great article. I am wondering if you have followed through with your friend and found a way to connect him to some support system? I know from experience that suicidal thoughts are complex and the decision to put thoughts into action varies according to many factors, support systems being one of them (family members and religious teachings/belief systems are others).When you are trapped at home, mostly blind, and no one seems available to help or care, life can be pretty bleak. Compassion is needed more than judgement. I hope you can make a difference in his life.DebiHi Debi,Yes, he's seeing supposedly one of the best doctors in the country even though from my understanding there is only so much they can do for him.Recently, he received a magnifying desk light which enables him to pay his business bills--he had a big smile on his face when he saw how much it helped him. He also received a telephone with huge numbers which also put a smile on his face. These are all good signs that he's open to help. His family is supporting him as well and if that doesn't seem like it's enough something else will be tried. We'll keep on helping........Thanks for writing!Steve
Steve,Excellent article that makes you think. I see these suicides regularly in my work and they are always sad. What I am seeing as I grow older myself is the value these folks have and the wealth of knowledge they have to offer. We do not have all the answers, and at times looking at history helps us understand. These folks are our living history - please spend time with them so they know their value. thanks again for making us think.DaveThanks Dave--yes they are a fountain of knowledge. You can look at someone who in his late 80's or 90's and who may be frail etc. and then you find out he may have been a hero in the second world war or an accomplished businessman etc--they deserve our respect. Great point about, "spend time with them so they know their value"
'Where there is life there is hope' is exactly right. This article does a great job in dispelling the myth of suicides being mostly the young. The elderly have not 'lived enough' as some might think. There is no living enough until you have lived it all. Very nicely done.Very well put Mike but I would not expect anything less from you.Thanks for writing.Steve
This is a very sad yet important article. It draws attention to a mental health issue that is often neglected. Senior citizens used to having their health may not be able to handle it when their condition declines, much like younger people who become disabled. Hopefully the first man gets past his pain and decides to keep living.Yes, and it is pain--pain of being old, frail and not being able to live as fully as once Hopefully, he gets past it and gets some hope.Steve
Great article, Steve. I was not surprised, though. I have seen so many older Americans in the hospital all alone, so lonely they try to talk your ear off when you go in to see them. Or, become combative or worse, stone silent, not caring at all what happens to them.Again, great stuff here, Steve.I bet you see a lot of older folks at work. I never even thought of the stone silent behavior some have. Pretty sad what happens to some old people, downright sad--thanks for writing Ken and my best to you.Steve
Good article. I go to a Senior Center almost weekly and the elderly were always volunteering to do something and I find they are a great source to learn from. Hopefully your friend will find some kind of service work he can do. We all have something to offer even if its just a smile or a pat on the back.Linda DWell put that we all have something to offer--EVERYONE DOES--Experience can be a great teacher and they have plenty. Thanks for writing.Steve
I do not think that suicide is more popular in the elderly than the young or people in their golden years. Perhaps, statistics state otherwise.They do. However, suicide is a problem no matter what age group is involved.
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