Sexual Abuse to Children-Too Much Sex Can be A Bad Thing-Abuse and Consequences

Joan was a stunningly attractive brown-haired woman in her 30's  who had a warm and sincere smile that was contagious. Her teeth glowed pearly white in the days before you could go to your local dentist and get your teeth bleached whiter than a sunlit Siberian landscape. Her figure was perfect and yet she did not flaunt her attractiveness. She was articulate, intelligent, and was a great employee who was moving up the ladder. Wherever she walked, men would stare at her; she was a traffic stopper. Everyone liked her including women who found her to be nice and yet not threatening. She was married, loved her husband, and had a young child. Everyone thought she had the perfect life; beautiful, good job, well respected, seemingly happy, and a new baby she loved so much. I knew better.

Something wasn’t right in Joan’s life. She had irresistible urges to be with other men. At first, she looked for a good man or men, wanting love and yet even more. You see, Joan felt that she was oversexed, that she just couldn’t get enough of it. She knew there was something wrong with her and she thought it might be that she was a nymphomaniac. According to the Mayo Clinic, nymphomania or sexual addiction — may involve a normally enjoyable sexual experience that becomes an obsession. Or that compulsive sexual behavior may involve fantasies or activities outside the bounds of culturally, legally or morally accepted sexual behavior. In short, though, she said, she just couldn’t seem to get enough sex.

When some men hear that a woman is a nymphomaniac they get happier than a bug in a rug or a cat in a mouse den. Some say, wow, how great, a dream come true. But any compulsion is a sign of true distress. Joan’s distress was that her uncle repeatedly molested her as a child. She wondered aloud if that was the reason she became so confused and ill content in her adult life. As time went by, from afar, it seemed as if Joan went from being around nice men to the lounge lizard types whom I’m sure didn’t have much more in store for her than passion in the back seat of a car.

I lost track of Joan, and being a young man at that time, I figured she would be fine and she’d straighten out her life. About six years later, I ran into a friend who knew Joan well.  During small talk, I asked my friend whatever happened to Joan. Without blinking an eye, she told me that Joan hung herself. She said she had no idea what could have happened for her to kill herself. I knew better.

I tell this story for two reasons. I am in the final stages of a book I am writing which is about protecting children, much of which deals with sexual abuse of kids. Secondly, I recently interviewed an author who was the 23 child of 46 children.  As a child, she lived in a polygamous household where she suffered physical and sexual abuse. She talked about what great pain and distress can occur when someone is molested as a youngster. More importantly, she talked about what these troubled adults should do to help themselves.

The author, Susanna Barlow, said they should talk to trusted and caring people about what has happened to them. To let it out. She said whatever happened to them must be accepted as occurring, shared with others who will listen and care, and understood that they are not alone. Therapy with a professional is also a positive course of action. Sexual abuse to children is an all too common occurrence and if someone has been abused, they have plenty of company. If abused, tell someone and get it off that hidden place in your mind. It wasn’t your fault, no matter what you have been told or you may think. Understand what happened, why it happened and how you can move ahead and see clearly, possibly clearly for the first time in your adult life.

Joan seemed to be a vibrant ray of womanhood. A breath of fresh air to everyone she met. He uncle started killing her the day he started molesting her. I wish someone had helped her. If you have been molested, talk and get help. Do not become a Joan.