Stunning Health Benefits of Friendship –Friendship and Children, Teenagers, Adults and Me

Are there any real benefits to having friends or does it just make things a bit more enjoyable for us?  I was actually shocked to read some statistics on friendship’s merits. Rebecca G. Adams is a professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina. She has researched the friendship issue and says, “In general, the role of friendship in our lives isn’t terribly well appreciated. There is just scads of stuff on families and marriage, but very little on friendship. It baffles me. Friendship has a bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships.”

In addition, sociologist and relationship coach Jan Yager, PhD, author of “Friendshifts” says,  ”Researchers have found that having even one close friend that you confide in can extend your life by as much as 10 years.”  Further, the world famous Cleveland Clinic’s Wellness Department talks about there being measurable health benefits from friendship. They site an Australian Longitudinal Study of Aging which looked at nearly 1,500 seniors — women and men — for a decade. Among their findings was that having good friends is more likely to increase longevity than even close relationships with adult children and other family members. They also site a very important message about friends, family and health. While anyone’s number of family members is limited and some people may hardly have any living family members, people can expand their network of friends for as long as they live!

For me, when I was young child, at about six or seven, I did not think much about friendship. I had my neighborhood friends I played with. Some were white and some were African American. Color meant nothing to us. Playing in mud, riding our bikes and doing silly things mattered. We never thought about friendship as something special. We just considered us kids as being the little people who were allowed to be bossed around by the big people, known to us as grown-ups and we had better hang out together—kind of like us against the adults—in a nice way.

As I got to be a teenager, friendship had an era of cool to it. If you had many friends you might be cool or if you had the right friends you might also be cool. What cool means—I’m still not sure.

As I became an adult, I saw that some folks used friendship to get ahead in business. I realized that was not friendship and never played that game—probably to my detriment.

As I got older, I did not care much about friendship. I was too busy with family and business interests. Friends were okay, but I could take them or leave them. However, as I got even older yet, and where I'm at now, I think of friendship on a completely different level. How I got to my present feelings on friendship I’m not sure, but I do not analyze it because it is a good thing. I think friends are one of the greatest things I can think of in my life. I do not have many friends, well by some people’s gauge I suppose not, but I consider many people my friends, people that the average person might not.

I consider just about all of my students as my friends. Yes, when I close my career-college classroom door our classes become a group journey into friends on a learning journey. As time goes by, classmates themselves become friends and I also consider them my personal friends. Don’t get me wrong, I am strict, and they know they must produce or they will fail the class but they know someone who cares for them is directing them. They apparently like it. I consistently have some of the highest student retention rates. When my 12 week quarters end, I feel I am leaving a team of friends.

In addition, I consider some of my SearchWarp friends as real friends and important to me. Chiradeep from India, Jennifer from South Africa, Ken and E. from Texas, Teresa from California and many others who take the time to offer their heartfelt comments means friendship to me.

I also have some good friendships I’ve developed from those whom I’ve interviewed on my radio show. There is no better way of getting a close friend than talking to them about a serious, or deep personal story—sometimes tragic events brings people together quickly in friendship. I suspect this occurs because we all have fear, pain, and weakness and when we open up and talk about those issues and share empathy, we realize we are similar and become instant friends.

Statistics showed me that friendship is healthy. That is great news for me because friendship means the world to me. It makes me happy, hopeful, and ready to enjoy the world tomorrow in the company of . . . friends.