Autism, Asperger Syndrome, My friend Mike and Trying Our Best
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012
by Steve Kovacs
The Kovacs Perspective
In high school, I grew up with a friend, Mike, who was different from all my other friends. My other friends and I didn’t know why he was different but we really didn’t think too much about it. He acted a little odd, smiled a little differently and seemed to repeat himself a little more than the rest of us but we thought it was no big deal—we didn’t care or look down on him—who cared.
My close circle of friends boxed at that time and that included Mike. There is no harsher measure of a man during the often machismo time of high school than stepping into a ring and standing across from someone—ready to fight. Mike was as strong as an ox, brave as a bull and held everyone’s respect as being one tough son of a gun. He kept me ever vigilant when I fought him because when he’d hit me, it shook me to the bone. One time, after I hit him numerous times and I danced around him just peppering him with jabs, he figured out my tactics and hit me so hard that I thought my world had ended. He went to hit me again and I played the sissy, the coward, or whatever you want to call it and I dropped to the floor to avoid being slammed again! We laughed about it then and still do to this day.
Years later, I found out that Mike had an autism disorder called Asperger Syndrome. The Mayo Clinic defines the disorder as, “A developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.” Furthermore, Asperger’s syndrome is generally considered a milder end of the autism spectrum.
Mike told me he had a tough time growing up but he handled things pretty well. He had some hard times dealing with people who were cruel or selfish and tried to use him for their selfish needs. Bullies do that sort of thing. They bully to make themselves feel better. Well, Mike wasn’t bullied much because he’d take your head off if he were pushed too much. Nevertheless, some who were smoother than the standard bully types tried to use him by trying to berate him for their own egos. However, Mike survived growing up and eventually graduated from Kent State University with honors. He’s had trouble with keeping stable work throughout the years but he keeps on trying and looking to better himself—just like we all try. My friend Mike with Aspergers Syndrome is just like us all—trying to smile, thrive and survive. Here’s to Mike my friend, and here’s to us all, the smart, not so smart, poor, rich, hurting or smiling, we are all the same, people, just trying our best to get by.
Years later, I found out that Mike had an autism disorder called Asperger Syndrome. The Mayo Clinic defines the disorder as, “A developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.” Furthermore, Asperger’s syndrome is generally considered a milder end of the autism spectrum.
Mike told me he had a tough time growing up but he handled things pretty well. He had some hard times dealing with people who were cruel or selfish and tried to use him for their selfish needs. Bullies do that sort of thing. They bully to make themselves feel better. Well, Mike wasn’t bullied much because he’d take your head off if he were pushed too much. Nevertheless, some who were smoother than the standard bully types tried to use him by trying to berate him for their own egos. However, Mike survived growing up and eventually graduated from Kent State University with honors. He’s had trouble with keeping stable work throughout the years but he keeps on trying and looking to better himself—just like we all try. My friend Mike with Aspergers Syndrome is just like us all—trying to smile, thrive and survive. Here’s to Mike my friend, and here’s to us all, the smart, not so smart, poor, rich, hurting or smiling, we are all the same, people, just trying our best to get by.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Steve,
Dropping to the floor was the smart thing to do. I think Mike was lucky to have you and your friends. It could have been much harder for him if he hadn't had your support even though he was one 'tough son of a gun.'
Well done (and I learned something too about Aspergers Symdrom). Thanks.Dropping to the floor was the right thing to do!!...hey, I like you, my mom would have said that--she would have said it was the smart thing...but I'm not so sure about that.....Well, I was lucky to have him too. Thanks Nancy.
Hi Steve.
Oddly enough, I think that when we were younger, we were more tolerant of those sorts of differences. I remember we had a little girl neighbor who was a Down's Syndrome child. Sure she was a bit slow and could be a pain sometimes and she looked a bit funny. But the boy across the street was funny looking and a literal pain because he liked to hit me. Really, we didn't think much about Patty and her odd ways.
But these kids get labeled these days and that affects how people think about them. It's a shame really.
I enjoyed your story. Thanks.
Hugs,
DianneMaybe so Dianne--maybe so....thank you for getting involved and leaving a comment.
Many of the bullied children/teens have some type of problem they are struggling with, and some are undiagnosed. Great way to draw attention to disorders for which we need to be tolerant and helpful.I'm not a bully expert but in my view it has been way too over thought by experts for solutions. Seems some solutions are based so much on politically correct solutions that real solutions fall to the wayside. As for some kids not being diagnosed--bullies or victims--I agree. But in the same breath, I think too many kids are over diagnosed--seems like every 5th kid has ADHD. I've had some experts tell me they agree with me on the ADHD.Thank you for the words on shedding a light--we should all be tolerant and helpful.I think more kids can be shown to be tolerant, but I'm not smart enough to know how to make that work. I always appreciate your well thought out comments. Thanks.....
It never ceases to amaze the power of the human spirit.
Great stuff here, Steve.Thanks Ken. Mike is amazing. He never gives up and has a spirit that keeps on ticking. I guess I can learn from his, as you put it, power of human spirit.
Thanks...............................
Nice article Steve.
I am the mother of 42 year old developmentally compromised twin sons. It has been hard to watch in more ways than I have the time to tell (a lifetime might enough time). Grateful for your compassion.
DawnThanks Dawn. Be well.
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